The Promise
by Nakaness
Summary: Haruka remembered something he didn't want to remember, because the person he shared the memory will get something terrible. Haruka went to the rooftop and Rin said that he wanted to meet Haruka. while it all happened, Makoto, being the 'understanding' one almost exploded; "the one that you made a promise with, is not only him!"
1. Chapter 1: I am a Human Too

**Chapter 1: I am a Human Too**

Haruka's P.O.V

_'Haru!'_

_'Haru!'_

"Haru!" someone has been calling me for some time.

"hnn?"

"why are you sleeping in the bathtub? You're going to be sick!" there's a green-haired boy kneeling beside me.

It looks like he's worrying about me...who is he again?

"and you are..?" I said.

"eeeeh? Haru?" he is panicking.

"oh wait. Makoto. Sorry," I stand up and got out from the bathtub.

"haaah. You scared me there, Haru. Anyway, get dressed, fast. We're going to be late," said Makoto. Then he went out from the bathroom.

* * *

"ah, Haru," Makoto smiled. Haruka closed the door and started to walk beside him.

"sorry about that," said Haru.

The other boy looked confused, and then he tilted his head to see the blue-haired boy up close, "about what?"

"I forgot about you," said the boy.

Makoto then chuckled and got straight back and stretched his hands, "nah, that was okay. Anyway, what did you dream about?"

This time, Haruka looked at the boy with a surprised look, "did I say something weird?"

"hmm? Nah, you didn't. I just wondering what dream you got, 'cause right after that, you forgot about me."

"I just-" the blue-haired boy's stopped by his own thoughts.

_'Haru!'_

_'Haru!'_

"no.." said the boy quietly while holding his head with his left hand.

Makoto got worried. He stopped and looked at Haruka, "are you sick? Want to go back?"

Haruka then put his hand down and said, "hn. No I'm not sick. Just...a memory that had been locked up..."

"memory?"

"hn...something opened it," said the boy finishing his sentence.

"is it...something awful?" asked Makoto.

"not exactly awful, it's rather nice," answered Haruka.

"is that so? Then why does it seems like it's hurting you?" asked the green-haired boy again.

"because...the other half of the memory is missing."

"missing?"

"yeah, just like...the one I shared the promise with is...going to disappear soon."

"promise? I thought you said memory, Haru?"

"it is a promise. It is a memory as well, because it happened long time ago, you don't know about that."

"is that so...but, how do you know that the other half is missing?"

"because I know there is still something...after that...but it won't come."

"so...the other half will come...when something happens to the other person?"

Haruka didn't answer.

* * *

"Haru-chan~! Mako-chan~!" said a yellow-haired boy while running inside the class.

Makoto looked at the boy and said, "morning, Nagisa."

"heheh. Wait, I thought you were with Haru-chan? Where is he?" the boy asked.

Makoto shook his head, "when the bell rang, he immediately went out from the class."

Then Nagisa shifted his expression from that cheerful one, to a more depressed one, "but whyy..?"

Makoto shook his head again, "I don't know where he is, but let's just give him time, and maybe he needs it."

Just after Makoto said it, a glasses-boy came to the class, resting his left hand on Nagisa's right shoulder, he said, "I saw Haruka-senpai going up the stairs."

"really?" said Makoto and Nagisa together.

The glasses-boy looked surprised because Makoto and Nagisa looked worried but didn't go anywhere after he said that, "well, yeah. Why would I lie to you?"

"well, that's right. Rei wouldn't lie," said Nagisa.

A girl with red-purplish hair came in, "Nagisa! Don't just leave like that!"

Nagisa flinched, "Gou?!"

It looked like the girl was holding her anger, after hearing that, she can't hold it anymore, "call me Kou!"

* * *

Haruka's P.O.V

I came to the rooftop without even thinking, I think Makoto, Nagisa and Rei are wondering where I disappeared to. Resting my hands on the fences, I let the wind blow my hair everywhere. The wind was blowing so hard that I could get a lift to go back home.

_'Haru!'_

_'Haru!'_

That voice again...why does it keep on coming and coming again? I don't wanna hear that. And I don't want to remember that voice, because something that's coming to that person is...bad.

Just then, my phone rang, and the Iwatobi High hymn played. I opened my phone to look at who's calling me. It turned out to be Rin.

"yeah Rin?"

"Haru..."

"yeah...?"

"um..."

"do you have something to say or not?"

"sorry, I just...wanted to hear your voice."

I could feel my face burning up, "my voice?"

"yeah, I really really wanted to. It seems like I can't see you no more."

"don't say something like that. It's scary."

"I just...wanna see your face."

"is that so..."

"really really wanna."

I think my face is already bright red like a tomato, "so then..."

"can I come to your house?"

"today?"

"yeah."

I feel happy, somehow, "well then, it's decided. I'm going to wait for you."

"okay, see you soon, Haru."

"see you, Rin."

I don't want to remember that voice, because something that's coming to that person is...bad.

* * *

"oh, Haru-chan!" shouted Nagisa.

"hey," answered Haruka.

"where were you?" asked Makoto.

Haruka turned to look at Makoto and said, "rooftop."

There were two ringtones playing together, Gou's and Haruka's. Gou got a phone call, but Haruka's ringtone wasn't for calls, his ringtone played again, he got two messages. Gou was talking loudly like she was screaming, while Haruka checked his phone.

That first message was from Rin.

「from: Rin

to: Haru

re: -

I forgot to tell you, we just got  
dismissed, 'cause the teachers  
have something important to  
do. So I'm just going straight to  
your house, okay? I don't mind  
waiting for you anyway.

Take care. 」

Haruka could feel his face getting warmer and warmer after each second went by. The thought of Rin coming to his house is making him unbearably happy.

Makoto, Nagisa and Rei just looked at him weirdly; they have never seen Haruka blushed before.

"no way!" suddenly Gou screamed.

Haruka, Makoto, Nagisa and Rei looked at Gou after her scream. Haruka flipped his phone close and didn't seem to seen the other message.

Gou held her face up with her left hand while she held her phone up by her right hand. Tears started to flow from her left eye first, then followed by many from both eyes. She kept on mumbling, "no..."

Then the phone call was hung up. Gou fell onto the floor. Rei got her, so she didn't get any bumps. She kept on crying, her eyes went red and the tears just kept on coming down and won't stop.

"Gou? What happened?" asked Nagisa.

"nii-chan...nii-chan..." said Gou.

Haruka felt like he's been struck by the thunder, he quickly kneeled beside Gou and Rei, "Rin?! What about him?! What happened?!"

"nii-chan...a car ran to him...nii-chan is in the hospital..." said Gou.

Haruka quickly ran outside the class, and soon they saw Haruka ran outside the school. He didn't say anything. No one ever knows what's inside his heart and mind. Only Makoto knows, only Makoto.

Makoto kneeled besides Rei and Gou, held his arms back and said, "come on. We have to go to the hospital too. Gou come here, I'll carry you."

Gou then nod slowly. She was very weak.

"Makoto-senpai, I'll get your bag. I have to get mine first so you guys just go, Nagisa, get Haruka-senpai's bag and we'll go to our class to get ours," Rei tugged Nagisa to go along with him.

"thank you, Rei."

"that's what friends are for."

* * *

Haruka kept on running non-stop. It's still summer, his sweat was running down on every single bits of him. He couldn't make himself slow down even a bit, the thought of Rin lying on the hospital's bed made him shiver. He didn't like that thought. He hated it.

Then Haruka remembered that one text he got from before. He thought he saw that name written on it. He took his phone out his pocket without slowing his pace. That message was...from Rin too.  
_  
__Shit!_

Tears started to run down Haruka's cheeks as he closed his phone and put it back in his pocket. Then he realised, he's in front of the hospital.

Haruka ran inside the hospital, dodging the nurses and patients' families, some people cursed him. His mind was too occupied to even hear the security screamed at him. He didn't care. What he wanted was to go to the emergency room. Somewhere near there, Rin should be somewhere near it.

There was a sign 'Emergency Room'. It was the last one. He quickly turned right to face the alley. There was Nitori, fidgeting there alone. Haruka walked towards him, Nitori looked up, just to be shocked that the one that was there was Haruka, not Gou, the one he called just some minutes ago.

"Nitori!" screamed Haruka as he approached the said boy.

"ye- yes! Haruka-san!" the boy stood up as Haruka stood in front of him.

"where's Rin?" asked Haruka.

"senpai...he's in the room," Nitori pointed his right side.

"what...what actually happened?" asked Haruka again, shocked to see Nitori's clothes stained with blood.

"Rin-senpai and me...we were walking together, since we were dismissed early and didn't have to go to the dorm just yet. He said he wanted to go to your house, Nanase-san, so I planned to go to Gou-chan's house. We were walking...then we arrived at a shop and I went in, Rin-senpai said he didn't want to go in. Then when I arrived at the cashier, something..." Nitori shivered and tears came to his eyes.

"...then when I got out, there was a car...right where Rin-senpai was...so I looked for him...and...and Rin-senpai was...there...blood...blood everywhere..." a tear in Nitori's left eye started to come down.

"I...started to panic and...and I rang the ambulance...and we got here..." Nitori can't hold it anymore, tears started to fall continuously. He hid his face with his right arm.

Haruka froze. He can't move. He never felt this heavy of an emotion before. He wanted to cry. He wanted to. He knew why he wanted to, but he didn't know why he must.

He stepped back and back. He felt his knees went weak, and fell down. He crossed his legs and stared up the ceiling. Hoping that Rin would be alright. Hoping the doctor would say that Rin's alright.

_'Haru!'_

_'Haru!'_

* * *

Everyone was there. Haruka, Gou, Makoto, Nagisa and Rei. They were waiting for the doctor to come out of the room. To announce them something they've been craving for, for two hours straight. Nitori was sitting beside Gou, tried to sooth her, tried to convince her that Rin's going to be alright. Nagisa was beside them, standing. With him was Rei, who was stroking his hair. In front of Nitori was still Haruka, sitting down. Folding his legs, he put his hands on top of his knees, tried to hide his face, and eyes that were red. Makoto was just there, looking at everyone. He was standing, doing nothing. Because everyone needed their own time to calm down.

The door was open, someone opened it. It happened several times before, but they were only nurses. But this one was a doctor. The moment of truth.

Everyone stood up. Haruka went first to the doctor, followed by Gou and everyone.

"so doctor, how's he?" Haruka asked his voice was shaking.

"Matsuoka-san is..." the doctor started his sentence.

Everyone flinched and tensed. They wanted to hear what the doctor would say, but at the same time, they were scared. Whether the doctor would say what they wanted to hear, that Rin's alright, or otherwise...

"are you Matsuoka-san's family?" the doctor asked. Haruka shook his head.

Gou went forward, "I'm his little sister."

The doctor looked down and said, "we tried our best. I'm sorry; Matsuoka-san cannot be saved."

Everyone's eyed widened. Followed by tears went down Gou's and Nagisa's eyes. Gou fell down, Nagisa turned to Rei, Makoto looked down and Haruka...he didn't make a move.

"hey doctor..." said Haruka.

"yes?"

"my name is Nanase."

"yes?" the doctor looked confused.

"thank you for trying to help Rin..."

The doctor looked down even more this time.

"don't worry...you tried your best didn't you?"

The doctor slightly nods.

"hey doctor..."

The doctor looked up to Haruka, only to be shocked by his expression. No one can describe Haruka's expression at that time, not the doctor, not those nurses that tried to take a peek at him. He didn't display any emotion, like he was emotionless. His eyes looked at something that wasn't even there. His eyes were blank. He was pale. Paler than before.

"can I come in? Wait...can we come in? We want to see Rin..." Haruka gripped on his clothes.

"yes," said the doctor. All of them went in.

Haruka was the closest to Rin. Gou didn't have any courage yet to see her beloved brother. Haruka opened the sheet that was covering Rin's pale face.

"Rin..." wishpered Haruka. He then fell on his knees with his hands on Rin's bed. He started to cry. More than before.

"you...bastard!" he yelled.

Everyone flinched. No one expected that.

"...asshole!" he yelled again.

Haruka was crying so hard. No one ever see him cried, but they paid half their attention to Haruka, so they only knew that Haruka indeed was yelling at the now lifeless body.

Haruka himself didn't even know why he cried. He cried when he ran to the hospital...and when they were waiting for the door to be opened, so he thought he didn't have any tear left.

Haruka's cry sounded really sad, full of feelings of helplessness and loneliness. Even though Gou, Nagisa and Makoto cried too, everyone can see that Haruka was the one that got the most impact on Rin's death. Everyone knows that Haruka is Rin's best friend, along with Makoto and Nagisa, but why this heartbreaking cry? Will he cry like this too if one of their friends in their circle dies too? That was what they were thinking. Except for Makoto.

Makoto knew what was behind Haruka's heartbreaking cry. It was a secret, at least for Makoto. No one can ever hide anything from him. From Rei and Nagisa's relationship as lovers, Nitori's feelings for Gou to Gou's feelings for Nitori. Makoto knew everything, and this one, he himself can't really handle it; because he, is a human too.

Makoto has been with Haruka ever since they were really small, no one knows Haruka better than him. He can tolerate everything Haruka did wrong or anyone else did wrong. Makoto is a well-known nice guy. Loved by everyone, but he didn't have the love he wanted; Haruka's. Makoto has been having this feeling for Haruka since they were in year 5, but in year 6, Rin came, and stole his chance forever.

Ever since Rin came, Haruka became brighter little by little. That way, Makoto knows, Rin really stole the Haruka he dreamed for. The Haruka that would look at him with those eyes the same way as when they were looking at Rin.

This cry of Haruka's pierced Makoto's heart deeper than ever. He didn't want to hear this. But the certainty of what would make Haruka like this pierced his heart even deeper.

That promise Rin made to Haruka secretly. The one they made in private. The one they made just hours before Rin's flight to Australia. The one that Makoto didn't meant to hear, because after hearing it, he wished he was deaf.

But this time, Makoto was ready. Ready for anything that will slip from Haruka's mouth that will pierce his heart even deeper. The pierce that maybe will seriously break his heart into pieces.

"why the hell...you stupid!" Haruka kept on yelling at the body in front of him. Making the people; doctor and nurses pitied him more and more.  
_  
_

_'Haru!'_

_'Haru!'_

_'please marry me?'_

"you dumbass..." Haruka whispered.

「from: Rin

to: Haru

re: -

I love you, Haru.」

"...I love you too...idiot..!"

That last sentence was enough to explain the weird behaviour Haruka had ever since their last swimming competition two months ago.

Also enough to...break Makoto's heart completely.


	2. Chapter 2: I Have Feelings Too

**Chapter 2: I Have Feelings Too**

It was Rin's funeral.

Everyone was there: Samezuka swimming club, including Seijuro Heichou and Nitori; Haruka; Makoto; Nagisa; Rei; and more importantly, the mother, and the sister.

'Rin is not with us.'

It's a fact that everyone would happily deny but can't.

'Rin is now dead.'

It was the first time they want to be lied to so badly.

Haruka has never wanted anything like this to happen. Ever since his parents' deaths 10 years ago, he never wanted something horrible would follow.

That time when his parents died, he didn't cry much, but he felt the emptiness. Those people that were always with him whenever and wherever were gone. He came back from school alone, did everything alone. It was lonely, he felt it. All those stares of pity did nothing; they didn't make him feel better. He had his friends beside him that time though, accompanied him always. He didn't miss any day of his swimming lessons, he loved swimming, and he loved swimming with them.

But still, something was missing.

Makoto's caring nature didn't fulfill his need for a mother.  
Nagisa's cheeky but protecting nature didn't fulfill his need for a father.

He felt empty.

Until that person came along years later.

'my name is Matsuoka Rin.'

The guy who has a girly name like his and his friends, whom he never knew before, has that smile of an angel.

His presence gave Haruka a sense of protection, even though he was just a kid like him. A cheeky kid with a big dream.

That kid fulfilled Haruka's need for the presence of parents.

Haruka had always been indecisive about that kid, but the kid didn't care. Without himself knowing, Haruka had always been clinging to the kid. He didn't show much expression like always, but the kid knew what Haruka really think of. Haruka didn't have to say anything and that kid will know his thoughts. Patting Haruka's head had been the kid's habit.

The kid was always there, wherever and whenever he needed him.

But suddenly the kid said he'd be going overseas.

Haruka didn't care much about it. He knew the kid would come back to him. The kid rescued him from the pitch black aisle that kept on going forever; the kid rescued him from the pain of searching for something that is never going to be found.

And he came back years later. Not much about that kid had changed; he just got taller and became more of a sweet ticking bomb.

_'he got taller and more handsome, really sweet as well,'_ Haruka said that time that left Nagisa with an open mouth and hands covering it.

Haruka was really relieved when the now cool teen that was hugging him and got him qualified that time had overcome his twisted thoughts.

He had become the Rin Haruka knew once more, and Haruka loved it.

But reality didn't love it.

Fate hated it.

They took Rin away.

Once more.

This time...forever.

There will never be a time where he'll come back.

Never.

The Samezuka swimming club has gone back, everyone has gone back. Leaving the little group alone. Rei said his mother is asking why he's not home yet. It's normal, since it's almost midnight.

Haruka doesn't want to go home, but the lady of the house seemed tired and wants to sleep, so he went home. Makoto accompanied him, while Nagisa went with Rei.

"hey Makoto," called Haruka.

"yeah?" answered Makoto.

"when I was on the rooftop...the day Rin died," he stopped.

"yeah?"

"...Rin called me," Haruka continued.

"is that so..." replied Makoto.

"he said he wanted to see me."

"is that so..."

"and you know what."

"yeah? " Makoto didn't' expect the change in Haruka's tone, it seems a little bit brighter, but sadder.

"that day, from when you found me in the bathtub, until Gou fell down in the class..." Haruka's tone changed again, this time, a little bit more serious.

"yeah?"

"I said I had this memory thingy, right?"

"the one that seemed like it hurts you?" asked Makoto.

"right. That thing...it actually made me uneasy."

"eh? It hurts you and made you uneasy? What was it?" asked Makoto again.

"it was a memory of the moments I wanted to happen again the most...but will never happen... " a tear came out of Haruka's left eye.

"Haru... " Makoto was filled with worries.

"but that is not the problem here," Haruka wiped his cheek.

"then what is it? "

"when I remembered it, I had this feeling that the person in the memory will get something...terrible."

"what do you mean by it?"

"I mean that that person will get something terrible."

"and...who was that person?" asked Makoto carefully.

"it was Rin."

The wind blew their hair. Makoto looked really shocked while Haruka stared at his shoes as he walked. Makoto didn't know this, he never knew this. He knew that something was up and it wasn't good, and he expected Rin to be involved in the issue, which was why Haruka went up to the rooftop. Even though he knew this, Makoto still can't say anything, it was too coincidental, he thought. Also, he never thought of the issue to be this serious...and the question here is...

"I still don't know why I got those feelings," said Haruka.

"I wonder why... " said Makoto.

"what do you think, Makoto? Why did I get those feelings?" asked Haruka. He demanded an answer.

Makoto can sense Haruka's desperation. He wanted an answer.

"I-" Makoto was just about to say something, but Haruka cut him.

"DON'T SAY YOU DON'T KNOW!" shouted Haruka, leaving Makoto surprised.

"no I wasn't..." Makoto tried to calm Haruka down.

"you know everything! You do! Don't say you don't know! Say something!" tears started to come out of Haruka's eyed again.

"you sensed a danger. That was all. You sensed it because Rin is the number one for you..." even though he said it himself, it hurts.

"..." Haruka didn't say anything.

"...sometimes I get that too, you know." Makoto finished his sentence.

"why do we get that? Isn't it better for us just to be blind about it? Don't you want to?" asked Haruka.

"because we want to protect that person so much, even though knowing a danger will come to that person hurts so much. That feeling of wanting to protect that person develops a new sense in us," said Makoto.

"is that so..."

"you've heard about the sixth sense right?"

Haruka nodded.

"yeah, 'the sense of wanting to protect the person that is important to us' is out sixth sense. Now don't cry anymore," Makoto helped to wipe Haruka's tears away.

Those stuff that Makoto said, he made up half of it. What did he know about the sixth sense anyway? He only wanted Haruka to calm down and not make a fuss about it. It hurts Makoto more than anything.

"are you okay now, Haru?" asked Makoto.

"what does it look like?" Haruka lifted his head and stared at the stars.

"you don't look like you're alright.." said the green-haired boy.

"then not alright it is," replied Haruka.

Then they walked slowly in silence. Haruka didn't seem like he's going to say anything, and Makoto...he's just being Makoto; didn't say anything because it didn't seem appropriate.

Because Makoto knew everything.

He knew Haruka was still hurting inside. He knew. He also knew why Haruka was hurting.

There's just one question, until when will Haruka regret it?

Haruka loves Rin. Rin also loves Haruka. So why...

...didn't they become lovers?

They suit each other, so why not? Will Haruka regret this forever? Moreover, he will always see Rei and Nagisa being a happy couple in front of him, while he...is hurting inside. There is no guarantee that Haruka's that strong, he will always remember Rin while doing everything. He will compare him and Rin with the couple in front of him.

Then, he will start using 'what if?'

Makoto knew all along; how lonely Haruka was, and how he wasn't able to help him. He didn't know why he can't, he just knew that even if they could find a way to travel back to when they were seven, he still can't be the 'Rin' that they will meet several years later. Rin is Rin, Makoto is Makoto. Rin can never be Makoto, neither can Makoto be Rin.

"Makoto," called Haruka.

"yes?" replied Makoto.

"I'm going to go somewhere. You go home."

"you sure you're alright alone?"

"yeah."

"okay. If you need anything just come to my house, alright?"

"yeah."

And so Makoto disappeared after few steps. The night was so dark; this town doesn't have enough street lamps to light the whole streets.

Haruka walked and walked. He didn't seem to know where he was going, but he knew. He was going to have some time calming himself down. His head and heart were still in chaos, the reality was just so horrible. Why would it took Rin away from him?

After that conversation with Makoto, Haruka realised that he indeed cared about Rin. He wanted to protect Rin from whatever bad things he will meet.

He stopped in front of his old swimming school that's no more. Something was built there. He remembered all the things that happened within that place.

Swimming together with everyone.

Rin asked him to swim in the competition with him and the others.

First time he saw Rin after the long years of waiting, how Rin appeared out of nowhere.

When they tried to swim but there was no water.

And he chuckled. Haruka chuckled at the things he remembered; they seemed so stupid yet so precious.

And he walked again.

This time he stopped in front of the sakura tree. Remembering the things that happened around that tree and that look-alike place in their primary.

_Free!_

_For the team._

__  
When Rin said he was going to Australia, how shocked he was.

When Haruka found him just minutes before the relay some months ago.

When they fought.

When Rin cried.

He smiled. Haruka smiled at how cute but miserable Rin was. He just wanted to swim freely, but he also wanted to be the on the top. Rin's thoughts were so complicated. Seeing Rin cried was hurting him, but nothing hurt him more than not being able to see Rin forever.

Then Haruka walked again.

He walked through the night, alone with the waves. He never really looked at how beautiful the sea at night. Then he arrived at the two stones, he slid down beside the newer stone and hugged it. He stared at the stars; he felt this sadness he never had.

"look how beautiful they are," said Haruka.

Then he let out a heavy breath, "even though I don't show it, I have feelings too, you know."

* * *

**I forgot to say...this story is my very first one and...sorry for any grammar mistakes I made, since English's not my first language.**

**and please give me your reviews...thank you.**

**- Nakaness**


	3. Chapter 3: I'm not Going Anywhere

**Chapter 3: "I'm not Going Anywhere"**

Makoto's P.O.V

"Mako-chan~!" someone called me.

"Nagisa-kun?" I replied.

Nagisa came in the class, with Rei.

"uuh, you're still alone, aren't you?" asked Nagisa while taking a seat in front of me.

"yeah, I am," I faked my smile.

"so...Haruka-senpai hasn't come to school at all?" asked Rei.

"yeah, he even locked his house," I answered.

"is it Rin-chan...?" asked Nagisa again.

"I think so," I answered.

I didn't really want to answer that question. Rin, Rin, Rin, always him. Rin did this and that, Haru will get the impact. It's obvious that Haru will be depressed after Rin's death, but this is way too much, even Rin's family has recovered from it.

"Haru always...gets some impact..." I mumbled.

"Mako-chan?" Nagisa tilted his head.

"eh, no no." I tried to cover it.

I don't hate Rin, I don't. I just don't like the way everything Rin did impact Haru in some ways. When it's like that, I'm just gonna be some kind of...a caretaker. Though I've always been one; 'cause I take care of Haru everyday. But in those days Haru's a teenager, not a baby, and in these days like this one, he's gonna be a baby. Real baby. He's depressed and when he sees me, he's gonna jump to me and cries, while I...am hurting inside.

But again, it's Haru, so I have to forgive it all. I have to. Because I...

"Makoto-senpai?" Rei tapped my right shoulder.

"eh yes?!" I was spacing out, and now surprised.

"don't you have some other friends?" asked Rei.

"well yeah I do. Just...not close," I answered.

I'm not really interested in making more friends than I already have. It's just that...my hands are already full of them, Haru, Nagisa, Rin, Gou and now, Rei and Nitori-kun too. But that doesn't mean I don't have any other friends. I still talk to our classmates, just not as much as I do with these people in my little circle of friends.

"Mako-chan~ the bell rang, we've gotta go back to our class, and Mako-chan!" Nagisa suddenly yelled.

"yes?!" I was surprised again.

"this is the first period, be happy! Come on, you can't be unhappy from the start of the day!" Nagisa patted my head.

"uh..yeah. Thanks."

Then Nagisa and Rei went out of the class the same time the teacher came in.

"okay students, we're gonna start homeroom. First, I'm gonna call your name, please reply or I'll make sure to mark you absent," said the teacher while opening a book.

He started to call names. No one really paid attention to him, they were all busy with whatever they were doing. After a while...

"Nanase Haruka," said the teacher.

"Nanase Haruka," he said again, looking through our faces one by one.

No reply, obviously.

"Tachibana-kun," he called me.

"yes sir?" I replied.

"where is Nanase-kun?" he asked.

"at home...sir," I answered, looking down.

"could you please ask him to come to school after today? He hasn't come for the past two months. I'm afraid he's going to repeat this year if he continues behaving like this." asked the teacher, concerned.

"yes sir. I'll try."

But I wonder if I can really do that, I'm not Rin after all.

Then the teacher went out and said it's self-study time.

"Tachibana-kun," someone called me.

"yes?"I asked.

It was a girl.

"do you know why Nanase-kun's been at home?" asked that girl.

This is why I don't really talk much with them. They only ask about Haru, again and again. If not, they'll tell me something absurd then thanks me, but I didn't do anything, just listened to them. Really.

"no," I simply answered.

"but you're the closest one to him," said that girl again.

"but that doesn't mean I do know everything, right?" I smiled.

"but Nanase-san said, 'Makoto knows everything. You can't have secrets in front of him. But he's the best of keeping secrets!' that," she explained.

"oh...is that so..." now I know why they've been telling me weird stuff about themselves. So those were meant to be secrets. But I didn't even know he's been communicating with others while I wasn't there.

"yeah. That's why I'm asking you," said that girl again while smiling and tapping my table.

"well, let's just say that...this is something personal, okay?"

"okay," the girl looked confused.

"and that you don't have to know about this. Because Haru will not be happy if you...I suppose your friends were asking you to ask me this," I looked at the group of girls that's been looking at us for some time.

"yeah..."

"just let them know that Haru will not be happy if he knows that you and them know. And the least they could do is to pray for his safety and well-being," I smiled at the end, sincerely. Ironically, that's what I'm doing right now too.

"okay! Thanks," then the girl dashed off.

I too am worried about Haru. I seriously have to go to his house again.

* * *

"Mako-chan~!"

"ah, Nagisa. What are you doing this late?" I asked, turning my head to Nagisa.

It's way past home time. I had duty and being ordered to do this and that.

"Rei just finished his duty~ and I'm going to his house to study~" Nagisa explained.

"wow, how fun," I said, faking my smile.

"yeah, Makoto-senpai. And Nagisa here was begging me to take you with us," said Rei that popped out of nowhere.

"oh, Rei-kun."

"yeah Mako-chan! come with us! You can teach us stuff we don't know! And then...my grades will go higher than ever!" said Nagisa, punching the air up.

I looked at Rei that just sighed at how Nagisa behaved.

"now, now, Nagisa," I said, starting my denial.

"hum?" Nagisa looked at me brightly.

"I don't want to disturb you couple's quality time together," I looked at Rei.

"and I too feel that 'teaching you stuff you don't know' is Rei's duty," still looking at Rei. He blushed.

"and I have Haru to take care of. So I can't go," I concluded my denial.

"eeeeeeeh?" Nagisa looked really disappointed.

"right then you guys. I'm going. Be happy," I went off.

"th- thank you, Makoto-senpai!" Rei bowed to me.

"eeeeh Rei? Why are you thanking him?" Nagisa tilted his head all the way to Rei's bowing head.

"nothing!" then Rei turned aroung.

"ah! I get it! Rei's a naughty naughty boy~!" Nagisa tickled Rei.

It seemed that that little devil in disguise was teasing Rei.

"no no that's not..!"

"what was I on about anyway~ humm?"

And then they were not heard by me again. Maybe because of the distance, maybe because of my thoughts.

Haru's still depressed, despites the family has fully recovered. Gou's been coming to school for the past some days too. Is Haru's depression because of Rin only?

Or did it open old wounds?

What wounds?

Wounds of losing his parents?

But we were all there and he got fully recovered in no time at all.

Did they confess to each other on the phone that day?

Or did Rin wanted to meet Haru because he wanted to confess?

Or maybe they confessed, so what were they going to do?

Were they planning on running away somewhere that'll accept them for who they were?

This is the only place.

Have they thought about their future together?

Is it bright?

Or is it not?

Maybe then Haru will register to Rin's family record and get adopted.

And then when they're adults...

Maybe they'll adopt cute kids to be their children.

Maybe Rin's death was too sudden for Haru.

They were talking on the phone seconds before the crash happened after all.

But that doesn't give Haru any excuses.

Even the mum recovered already.

Is it the pain of losing someone loved?

Or is it the regret of having something unfulfilled?

Maybe they had promises they didn't fulfill?

Oh please Haru, you have promised me a thing too!

And that thing is...the thing I've been holding onto.

The thing that...have supported me all this time I'm with you.

'_hey Makoto.'_

"I seriously miss that voice...the voice that called me...that way."

Or maybe...he's starting to use 'if' and 'what if'.

* * *

Haru has to come to school. If not, he'll get dropped out from school. Where will he go to school afterwads?

I arrived in front of Haru's house.

With all my guts, I knock.

_Knock knock knock._

"Haru," I called him.

Haru didn't answer. I guess he still is depressed.

_Knock knock knock.__  
_  
"Haru," I called him again.

No answer. Maybe he still needs some time...

Just then, the door was open.

_Grakk.__  
_  
Haru opened his front door. He surprised me with how he looked; Messy hair, red eyes and big eye bags.

"Haru?! What happened?!" I grabbed Haru's shoulders.

"why are you so...' I grabbed his t-shirt up to see his body. "thin?!"

"Ma...koto.." said Haru.

"ye- yeah? Oh wait; let's get you to the bed first. You need to rest!" I piggy back him to the bedroom.

"Makoto...Makoto..." Haru kept on calling my name trying to get my attention to him.

"yes yes just a second," I opened the door and what I found was a really messy room full of his stuff everywhere.

I put Haru down and searched for his futon. Then I laid it down and carried Haru there.

I sit beside him, facing him and asked him, "now Haru, answer me. Did you eat.?" he shook his head.

"at all?" I asked him again and he shook his head again.

"Haru you can't be like this. Let me make you something to eat, what do you want?" I stood up and took off my school tux and tie.

Haru tugged me, "no Makoto..."

I turned around while folding my long sleeves, "what is it? Do you want mackerel? If you want it I'll buy it..." Haru tugged me harshly and I fell.

"o...ow ow ow...Haru..." I said, patting my head that got smacked by the floor.

"Makoto..." Haru furrowed his eyebrows.

"uuh...what is it Haru?" maybe Haru wanted something else than mackerel.

"Makoto don't go...don't..." Haru cried.

"don't go? But you need to eat, Haru," I said.

"...Makoto...Makoto doesn't need to go anywhere..."

"but you need to eat, Haru."

"no Makoto is not allowed to go..."

"I'll just get them from my house, then."

"no..."

"it's near here. You know that."

"no...!"

"I'll be just a minute okay?"

"Makoto can't go! Not allowed to leave me!" he yelled, then he coughed.

"okay, okay calm down Haru..." I put my right hand on his left cheek. He was trembling.

"don't go..." he tilted his head to my right hand.

"okay...I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

**hi guys it's me...**

**I was gonna make this chapter has more feels but somehow can't...it just won't fit.**

**actually, that was why I made this chapter with Makoto's P.O.V, to get more feels.**

**I think the first chapter was way longer than the second or this one but that's because I didn't expect this story to have more chapters..**

**oh and, I think I made a mistake in...I don't know which but I think I wrote "Nanase-senpai" then "Haruka-senpai" said by the same person. if you see it, please tell me..**

**and sorry for any typos.**

**thank you.**

**- Nakaness**


	4. Chapter 4: I'm Going to Gamble

**Chapter 4: "I'm Going to Gamble" **

It was the same afternoon as always. Alone whenever he might be. Makoto has become used to it. He had stopped going to the rooftop since Haruka's absence from the past 2 months. Tomorrow is Haruka's last chance; he has to come to school, even if that means Makoto has to fight his whining and yelling. He was thinking of how he could persuade Haruka to come to school, because if he gives the wrong statements of why Haruka should come to school tomorrow, they might fight. They really will. Makoto wanted Haruka to come so he'll not be expelled, but Haruka wanted to stay at home and do nothing.

Makoto has been thinking about it all along, the reason why Haruka so depressed he won't do anything. He knew Rin's sudden death was the cause but, this was way too much. Why would Haruka made himself suffer like that?

Don't people who died would be sad if people mourns too much?

Let alone Haruka's cause, Makoto has another thing going on in his head. He's worried, unease and nervous. The teacher said Haruka'll be expelled as soon as he doesn't show his face tomorrow at school.

What'll be the future of the person Makoto held so dear if he's going to be expelled? Makoto doesn't want that. Haruka already lost his sight of future...maybe. But Makoto doesn't want to lose his sight of Haruka's future. He wanted Haruka to be a beautiful swimmer like always, a great one, bearing their country's name in the world competition. Or maybe just being a nice working man.

"Makoto-senpai?"

Being snapped back into reality, Makoto looked to his right, "oh, Gou? What're you doing here?"

"it's lunch, and I think I haven't seen you in a while," said the red-headed girl.

"oh okay. Do you need anything?" asked Makoto.

"information, maybe," answered the girl playfully.

Makoto smiled, "what information?"

"about Haruka-senpai."

"about Haru?"

"yes. Nagisa said he hasn't been coming to school?"

"yes, that's right," he sighed.

"then what about our club?"

Surprised, he asked back, "what about it?"

Makoto hasn't been paying attention to the situation in the school. He forgot that they have a club, and he hasn't been coming to the pool since Haruka's absence.

"Miss Ama-chan asked me. We at least have to practice once a week, and you and Haruka-senpai hasn't come at all for the past..." she checked the paper she held. "for the past 8 weeks. Though this isn't my data since I haven't been coming to school until...last month I think? And I was busy catching up on the lessons..."

"so who's work is that?"

"Miss Ama-chan."

"I see. Gou, Miss Ama-chan must know that Haru hasn't come to school since the last two months...and if she doesn't know just tell her to clarify that to the male teacher that's somehow been substituting her as our homeroom teacher..."

"...and?"

"and tell her that I am sorry because I can't come. Please don't worry about us."

"umm okay."

"oh Makoto-senpai, the bell rang. I have to go back. See you," then she ran to the door.

"see you."

* * *

It's home time, Makoto ran toward Nagisa and Rei's class, hoping they haven't gone home.

"Nagisa! Rei!" Makoto shouted the moment he saw them.

"Mako-chan?"

"Makoto-senpai?"

"I need you guys to answer me," he said, panting.

"what is it?" asked Rei.

"that is...I'm going to Haru's house again today and I need some words from you guys that would make Haru want to come to school..." Makoto explained.

"and so...?" asked Nagisa.

"I'm thinking of...do you guys want to see Haru swim again?"

"of course!" answered Nagisa and Rei almost instantly.

"and why is that?"

"because I want to see him shining beautifully again!" answered Rei.

"and because I want to see him free too!" answered Nagisa.

"okay. Nice," Makoto smiled.

"so this is what you're going to say to Haruka-senpai?" asked Rei.

"yeah. Because my words alone won't bother. He needs the words of the others too."

This was what Makoto come up with. He thought that his words alone won't even make Haruka come out from his house. He thought that Haruka needs to know that the people around him are with him and want the best for him.

Well, at the end of the day, this must work. Otherwise...

"okay guys see you tomorrow!" Makoto dashed away.

"o- okay," said the two together.

* * *

Makoto P.O.V

Here it is. What I say in this house will determine Haru's future. I have to be cautious of what I'm saying.

Knock knock

"Haru it's me Makoto," I said. "Can I come in?"

Silence.

"come in, it's not locked anymore," he answered.

I came in and put my bag down and went to look for Haru, "Haru where are you?"

"here," he said while waving his hand.

He was in his room doing nothing. Though he waved at me, I can't see anything more than from his elbow to his fingers. Is he still depressed? Is it why he's still in there? But from his tone he doesn't seem to be in that kind of mood.

I went to him, "ah Haru, do you want to eat?"

He stared at me and answered, "hm...yeah I guess..." then he walked to me an hugged me.

I guess if there is something I must compliment in this situation is...my self-control. I didn't freak out like a girl suddenly being hugged by her crush. Though really, my heart skipped a beat.

"Haru? Is there something wrong?" I ran my hand on his head.

He pulled back, looking a bit confused, he answered, "no...just trying to make sure of something..."

He looked confused. What is it really? Making sure of what? By hugging me? How does it even help?

I went out from his room and walked to the kitchen, "okay then. I'm going to make you food. Want mackerel? Did you eat lunch?"

"lunch...I found noodles...was it you that put them there?" he asked.

"hm? Yeah. After you slept yesterday I went home to get some then came back here to put them here," I answered while taking off my school tux and tie and putting on the apron.

"hmm..."

I opened the shelves looking for pans, "that's right. Don't worry I locked the door from outside yesterday, then I put the key back, though it was hard but I managed."

"hmm..."

I opened the lower shelves and turned to Haru, "oh Haru, is there something specific that you want to eat?"

"ah...mackerel."

"haha I know that. Any other request?" I stood up.

"no..."

"okay then. Just sit there and wait for me to finish," I said. "And you have to finish the food I am going to prepare for you."

"I'll try..."

Haah really, Haru? Where's your spirit? Anyway I have to ask him to go to school later after he is finished.

Minutes later I finished all the food and put it on the table for Haru to eat. Then I put off the apron and went back to the table.

"eat, Haru," I smiled.

"yeah..."

After what it felt like half an hour Haru finished them. I never expected him to really finish it, maybe he's much more better then I imagined. I washed the dishes then went back to the table.

"Haru," I called him.

"yeah...?"

"go to school tomorrow...please," I said with my head down.

"why must I?"

"because if not you're going to expelled...tomorrow is your last day," I looked at him full of hope.

"I mean, does it even benefit me if I go?"

"of course."

"how?"

"you'll be able to go to university. You'll also be able to be a better swimmer than you already are. And..."

"and?"

"...everyone is worried about you."

"ha, really? Do they even care about me? Is there really a person who actually cares about me?"

I didn't know this conversation would turn out so depressing like this...

"of course there are," I said, looking straight into his eyes. "I care, Nagisa cares, Rei cares, Gou cares, Miss Ama-chan cares, our classmates care. All of them, Nagisa, Rei, Gou and others asked me how you've been."

"really..."

"Nagisa told me how he wanted to see you free again."

"am I not?"

"you aren't, right now. You're consumed by the sadness you have, it made a cage around you which called depression and filled itself with despair. If you don't come out of that cage now, you will never able to."

"how can I? I won't be able to come out on my own..."

I patted his head, "don't forget that I'm always here for you."

"yeah..."

"Rei also said how he wanted to see the beautiful you. Nagisa agreed to that."

"how can they say I'm beautiful?"

"because they like you," I simply answered. "Because if you don't like something, you'll never see it as beautiful, right?"

"eh..."

"I like you too you know," I smiled.

"really?"

I answered with my smile still on, "yeah."

"though in a different way..." I whispered to myself.

"what?"

"oh, nothing."

"so they all care about me and wanted me to be free and beautiful again?"

"absolutely."

"and I can do that if I go to school tomorrow?"

"yes."

"and I'll get the bonus of not being expelled?"

"that's right."

Just then my phone rang. I flipped it open, it was my home, probably my brother or sister. Oh that's right, I promised them to play straight after school finished. I answered it and apologised to my brother and said I'll be home shortly. Then I ended it.

"sorry Haru, I'm going home now," I stood up and put my school tux and tie back on.

"why?" he asked.

I got my bag and was ready to go when I think...

I'm going to gamble. Does he still remember or not? Am I going to be happy or sad with the result?

"I promised Ren and Ran to play together, it's not nice to have made it and not fulfilling it, right?"

"yeah I guess...go fulfill it when you can, if one of you dies, you'll never fulfill it, and it will then be a regret," Haru said with a face that told me he was about to cry.

So I guess he had a promise with Rin that's not fulfilled...but that still wasn't nice...

"yeah, but if the other party forgets about it, it'll hurt the same, right?"

"I guess..."

So that was it. I lose. He forgot. Not even a single hint of realisation.

"okay Haru, I'm going home. I'll pick you up tomorrow. Bye bye," I waved and went to the door.

"bye bye," he waved.

I went out and walked alone. Though I expected the result, it still hurts and made me really sad...

Tears came to my eyes. I cried. It's been a long time since I last cry. I've never cried since junior high. I guess people would look at me strangely, a tall boy cries, they'll surely laugh at the pathetic me.

Though they don't matter, really. The one that matters here is Haru. I hope he will be ready to go when I pick him up tomorrow. Then everything will be alright.

Except for me, it seems.

* * *

The next day.

"Haru~ It's me Makoto," I called him with a forced nervous smile.

I'm afraid Haru won't be ready and still doesn't want to go...

Just then, the door opened.

Okay, this is it.

* * *

**okay guys...I seriously forgot that the word 'expel' actually exists and that's why I used 'drop out' instead in the previous chapter.**

**and I must admit...this chapter is short...that's because I wanna keep end it nicely.**

**oh and, sorry if the reason why Makoto came up to Nagisa and Rei was unclear, I can't make it any clearer...**

**in the next chapter:**

**will Haruka go to school? or will he be expelled? and what about their promise? does Haruka really forgot? what about Makoto? can he manage to pass this period of time where he has to be more patient than ever? will his feelings for Haruka gets discovered?**

**stay tuned!**

**- Nakaness**


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